Quick recap on mentalising
A close friend tells you you're looking great. A complete stranger tells you you're looking great. At first sight, these are simple scenarios. But our responses will always depend on context. Are we feeling knackered and sheepish about over-partying last night? Are we alone in a dark alley or lazing on an Ibizan beach? Dressed to kill or to blend in? A survivor of abuse? You get the point, which is hardly as astonishing as now having a black President of the United States. (Obama would be someone amazing to be complimented by.) The most mundane, everyday interaction can be very complex, causing us to feel loads of (often conflicting) feelings – or blankly none.But just as we can train to improve our negotiating or leadership skills, we can definitely brush up our mentalising skills. Which will in turn help give a good tune-up to our skills in negotiating, leadership and virtually anything else that involves sentient creatures, in particular human beings. (And for me, Tibetan Terriers.)
Jon Allen’s articles (in What is mentalising?) describe the importance of:
o being aware of our own thoughts
o being aware of our own feelings
o being aware of others’ thoughts
o being aware of others’ feelings
o feeling our own thoughts and feelings
o feeling others’ thoughts and feelings
and how we exercise these constantly through each day. With greater or lesser degrees of effectiveness.
Jon Allen’s articles (in What is mentalising?) describe the importance of:
o being aware of our own thoughts
o being aware of our own feelings
o being aware of others’ thoughts
o being aware of others’ feelings
o feeling our own thoughts and feelings
o feeling others’ thoughts and feelings
and how we exercise these constantly through each day. With greater or lesser degrees of effectiveness.
